Feeling competitive?
A windy afternoon here in Ann Arbor, Michigan. While the wind is dismanteling the screen on the bedroom window of my college apartment, Oprah is on in the background. I never turn on Oprah, I really don't, believe me. It just so happens she has the 4-5 slot immediately following the 3-4 slot of my beloved General Hospital and I'm always too lazy to pick up the remote and turn it off. In case you were interested, right now Venus and Serena Williams are reassuring a teenage girl that she has "beautiful cheekbones" and the crowd is loving it. One thing I have to admit is that Oprah probably has the best audience ever. Probably the most predictable, reliable group of people out there, loyal as a yellow labrador retriever. She could stare blankly at the camera, not say a word, and that crowd would cheer her on with all its might.
Times like these my mind naturally starts to wander... and with Venus and Serena on my trustworthy television screen, my brain has led me to that age-old question that has plagued mankind for centuries: which sibling is better?
Let us take a look...
Venus vs. Serena: An easy win for Venus. The more down-to-earth of the tennis-duo. Sure, she's a pro athlete but unlike Serena, she knows she's a woman and therefore sucks at sports. Soon, she will dutifully return to the kitchen where she knows women hold spatulas, not rackets.
Mary-Kate vs. Ashley: Ashley takes home the cake. Quite frankly, I don't like that Mary-Kate has two names. Either you're Mary or you're Kate, you can't be both. I imagine it must be a pain to sign her name, always needing to stop in the middle to add in the little dash. Or does she add the dash at the end? Maybe she doesn't hyphenate at all. Maybe she only uses one name in her signature. Maybe she just hires someone to sign her name for her so she doesn't have to think about it. Something tells me I'll never know the answer to this question.
Barbara vs. Jenna Bush: Jenna wins. Barbara went to Yale. Jenna went to the University of Texas. Need I say more? But since both have had run-ins with the police, I'm considering just handing the medal to good ol' Chelsea.
Joaquin vs. River Phoenix: River wins just because I had to imdb Joaquin to make sure I spelled his name right and the fact that he stabbed Russell Crowe in Gladiatior doesn't help. Also, River was in "Stand By Me", which we all know is one good movie.
Emilio Estevez vs. Charlie Sheen: Both weird me out. Disqualified.
Mario vs. Luigi: This was a tough one, but in the end, it's gotta go to Luigi--the underdog. Doesn't he have as much gusto as Mario? Isn't he as handy a plumber? Isn't he as qualified to rescue the princess? Aren't those green overalls becoming? Mario stole the spotlight years ago, today Luigi reclaims it.
When I was younger, I used to try and get my parents to admit that I was their favorite. My less than convincing tactics included, "C'mon, you can tell me, they're not around, they'll never have to know." They would always answer, as every parent should, "We don't have favorites; we love you all equally." For so many years they maintained that you don't compare siblings: how wrong they were...
Times like these my mind naturally starts to wander... and with Venus and Serena on my trustworthy television screen, my brain has led me to that age-old question that has plagued mankind for centuries: which sibling is better?
Let us take a look...
Venus vs. Serena: An easy win for Venus. The more down-to-earth of the tennis-duo. Sure, she's a pro athlete but unlike Serena, she knows she's a woman and therefore sucks at sports. Soon, she will dutifully return to the kitchen where she knows women hold spatulas, not rackets.
Mary-Kate vs. Ashley: Ashley takes home the cake. Quite frankly, I don't like that Mary-Kate has two names. Either you're Mary or you're Kate, you can't be both. I imagine it must be a pain to sign her name, always needing to stop in the middle to add in the little dash. Or does she add the dash at the end? Maybe she doesn't hyphenate at all. Maybe she only uses one name in her signature. Maybe she just hires someone to sign her name for her so she doesn't have to think about it. Something tells me I'll never know the answer to this question.
Barbara vs. Jenna Bush: Jenna wins. Barbara went to Yale. Jenna went to the University of Texas. Need I say more? But since both have had run-ins with the police, I'm considering just handing the medal to good ol' Chelsea.
Joaquin vs. River Phoenix: River wins just because I had to imdb Joaquin to make sure I spelled his name right and the fact that he stabbed Russell Crowe in Gladiatior doesn't help. Also, River was in "Stand By Me", which we all know is one good movie.
Emilio Estevez vs. Charlie Sheen: Both weird me out. Disqualified.
Mario vs. Luigi: This was a tough one, but in the end, it's gotta go to Luigi--the underdog. Doesn't he have as much gusto as Mario? Isn't he as handy a plumber? Isn't he as qualified to rescue the princess? Aren't those green overalls becoming? Mario stole the spotlight years ago, today Luigi reclaims it.
When I was younger, I used to try and get my parents to admit that I was their favorite. My less than convincing tactics included, "C'mon, you can tell me, they're not around, they'll never have to know." They would always answer, as every parent should, "We don't have favorites; we love you all equally." For so many years they maintained that you don't compare siblings: how wrong they were...
posted by Daphna at 4:26 PM
2 Comments:
So....Mario and Luigi are cousins, just for future reference.
yo ho ho, you stand corrected franklin turtle: they are in fact super mario brothers. check...mate
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